Some Concepts to Consider
- When I say: "I love my job", some people think this is not a true statement. Some think I am joking. Is this a statement that is (or can be) true for you?
- What enables this statement to be true for me is my perspective regarding the concepts I call "R.S.V.P."
- Stress and Expectations
- Value of Time and Work
- Positive Problem-Solving Approach
- While this presentation is job-related, these concepts apply in all areas of our lives. In considering these concepts, you may find ways to love your job, and your life.
Under Poems on this web site, read the one called
What does this poem say?
- Responsibility is Part of life accept it
- Being needed is an antidote to loneliness
In the item under Perspectives called View of Change, I quote myself as saying "All of Life's Greatest Disappointments are due to Unrealistic Expectations". Think about it
What do we need that we are stressed if we do not get?
- Disappointment is related to Expectations
- Expectations are often Wishful Thinking: what we Want or Need
- When we get what we need we minimize Wishful Thinking (Unrealistic Expectations).
Story my parents and my project
- Everyone needs a little C.A.R. (Caring Acceptance Respect)
- You get it by giving it
- You can give it first to yourself
Around 1989 I was asked to be Project Manager for a highly visible, business critical, technologically leading-edge project for my company. This involved a total replacement of the Customer view of data on our files, complete with the installing of a new color PC for each major client. Though the software was essentially mainframe-based, the PC view would look and act just like Windows. The stress of managing this project was tremendous. I lived the project, and was immersed in coordinating all the details and issues to insure a successful implementation. The VP in charge at the time loved to micro-manage, and questioned every dependency, every critical path milestone, and even the resource task assignments. In one meeting, when he saw my frustration with his questions, he asked why I objected to his asking these questions. I had to tell him that my job was to manage the project, and he either trusted me to do that, or he should have someone else do it. He said of course he trusted me to manage the project, and that's why he asked for me to be the Project Manager. We then agreed he had permission to ask any questions he wanted but that on detail day-to-day decisions he would back off and accept what I decided. While the project was in full swing, my parents both became critically ill. The way I handled the stress of my job was when I left the office for the hospital - I totally immersed myself in my family obligations and health-care life-and-death decisions, which were much more important than the work. But then when I was on the job, and there was nothing to be done for my family that the hospitals, homes, social workers, and others weren't already doing, so I immersed myself in the Project and set aside all the emotional turmoil.
I balanced the stress in my life by alternating the different stresses - the intellectual logical problem solving, versus the emotional hearth-wrenching stress
Perhaps I was resting one side of my brain while I taxed the other, and vice versa. So balancing a Right-Brain activity with a Left-Brain activity enabled me to deal functionally and competently with two major stresses at the same time in my life
- Value of Time and Work: When an occasion came up to honor my Parents such as a Birthday, Anniversary, Mother's Day, or Father's Day I always asked them what gift they would like. I always got the same answer. The greatest gift I could give them, they insisted, was the gift of my time. To just take time out of my busy life and spend a day with them whether we went somewhere, or just hung out at their place was all they wanted. The opportunity for me to just enjoy them and their company, and for them to just enjoy me. What a great gift TIME.
- My parents have now been gone for many years, and I have the memories of those lovely days when we spent TIME together, just enjoying one another
- What do I have now by having given my time?
- What would I have now if I had given presents of things?
- We are paid money for our Time and Attention to work, because it has value.
- Work: What else (aside from money) do you get /can you get of value from your job? (Why work?)
- Respect from others: Self-respect; Self-esteem
- Social Interaction (people contact)
- Motivation for Creativity and Productive problem-solving
- Sense of belonging / Team playing
Joke Engineer (Analyst - problem solver)
- Positive Problem-Solving Approach
I do not usually tell jokes, but one that I remember is very appropriate here. There were 3 men to be executed, by a blade that dropped to lop off their heads. The rules were that the person could have a choice to lay down on the table face up or face down. Also, since the blade did not always fall properly, if the subject was not beheaded the first try, the executioner was not permitted a second try, and the subject could go free. First came a Doctor, who elected to lie face down. The executioner axed through the rope holding the blade up, and the blade began to fall. Just before the blade reached the Doctor's neck, it stopped its fall, and the task was aborted the Doctor went free. Next came a Lawyer, who also opted to lie face down, and the same thing happened the blade stopped short, and the Lawyer was freed. Finally, the third man was an Engineer (or business analyst, or programmer analyst, or consultant any problem-solver would have the same result). The Engineer chose to lie face up. The executioner was just about to cut the rope with his ax, when the Engineer looking up at the apparatus cried out "Stop! I see what the problem is!"
- Although the 'problem-solver' approach in the joke cost the Engineer his head, our Attitude and approach to circumstances can define who we are
When you observe a problem, or wish "they" (company/management) would handle things differently (or wish life dealt you a better hand), what are some of the things you might do?
- Gripe about it to family, friends, coworkers
- Change jobs (run away /escape)
- Work together to improve the process and eliminate the problem
A scorpion and a frog both needed to cross the lake. The scorpion asked the frog if he would give him a ride on his back while he hopped from lily pad to lily pad to go across the lake. The frog said he was fearful that the scorpion would sting him and he would die. The scorpion suggested the frog use some logic here since if the scorpion stung the frog while riding on his back, they would both drown so why would the scorpion do such a thing? This made sense to the frog, so the scorpion crawled aboard and the frog began hopping across the lake. About halfway across, the scorpion stung the frog. The frog cried out in shock: "What did you do that for? Now we both will die!" To which the scorpion replied: " I can't help it, it is my nature."
It's my nature to continually improve the process
So I make it a part of my job
- Remember the Ocean Waves
- Can be a very positive feeling
tress and Expectations
- "All of Life's Greatest Disappointments are due to Unrealistic Expectations." (Unrealistic expectations come from unfulfilled needs.)
- We all want and need a little C.A.R. (give it to yourself & others)
- Balance your Life and Stresses (use one side of the brain to rest the other)
- Value of Time and Work
- The Gift of Time how valuable it is
- Being paid money for your Valuable Time and work-attention
- What else of Value are you getting from your work?
ositive Problem-Solving Approach
- What is your approach to Business Situations, and to Life?
- Determine what you want your attitude (your "nature") to be, and incorporate it in your Work and in your Life